meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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