and you said cock pushups were impossible
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So much Jack, so little girl.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
A bitchslap is in order.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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