I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
