How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
