Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
