im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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