Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
