I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
