I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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