I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
