Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he puts the penis in happiness.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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