sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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