It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
