i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
