just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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