like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize