the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
