so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
