I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
