i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
