what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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