he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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