last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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