did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She even gives head with a lisp.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
