Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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