I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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