White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
