Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
