My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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