we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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