I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
