Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
