my mouth tastes like poor choices
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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