I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
