from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
