I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'm really busy with my period
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