Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
