Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
