You can't motorboat a personality
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize