girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
As shirtless as possible
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
