dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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