Your tits are I can't wait for
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My vagina just recognized that song.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
