My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
