White coat. Heels.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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