I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Did I show you my penis last night?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
