mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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