i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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