just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize