Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
