Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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