I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
