do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
not ubering you a puppy
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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