I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
