Banned from zoo.
Again?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
