Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
