Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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