So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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