If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize