I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
