I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize