Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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