i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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