i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
