she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So vagazzling was a success
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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