I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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