Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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