please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
