Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize