Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Still dying that you shit outside
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
