How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
